Holding Our Angel

Loving After Loss

Dinner Triggers


After we removed Theo from life support and left the hospital in San Francisco, we grabbed dinner at Denny’s as it was close to the hospital and freeway.

I haven’t been in a Denny’s since. I wasn’t consciously avoiding the restaurant chain , I just don’t eat there very much. But the other night I was craving breakfast food for dinner, did not feel like cooking, and iHop and Denny’s are the only restaurants in our area serving breakfast at dinner time.

So we drove to a Denny’s as it is closer to our house, and I couldn’t get out of the car. It didn’t occur to me before we got there that we ate at a Denny’s the day Theo died. I immediately remembered that last time at a Denny’s, and I couldn’t stop reliving the hours leading up to dinner.

After my freak out in the car, we went to an iHop. I still really wanted breakfast for dinner.

I will probably never eat at a Denny’s again.

In other events, I went to Buy Buy Baby earlier today. I wanted a new crib sheet that was all navy and I was in the area so I figured I would just pop in and buy it in person instead of online. There weren’t a lot of people in the store fortunately, so I was in and out pretty quick. I was wearing this necklace, which I bought in honor of Theo. The cashier commented on the necklace, saying it was very beautiful. But there was something about how she said it… I think she got the meaning behind the necklace, that it was to honor a loss. It was a sweet moment. I almost exclusively wear my Theo jewelry, and I love when people comment on them (even if they don’t know the meaning). It’s like they are saying hi to my little boy.

I’ve been mostly napping this week. I haven’t been sleeping well at night, partly because of pregnancy and partly because allergies have me so stuffed up I can barely breathe through my nose. Apparently our area is one of the worst in the country for allergies, and this year is bad for me. Stupid rain, making everything bloom. Haven’t accomplished much on my maternity to-do list this week, but there’s a small part of me that reminds me I may have plenty of time after Steam Bun’s birth to work on the list. Ugh.


3 thoughts on “Dinner Triggers

  1. I love that necklace it’s absolutely beautiful! I’m so sorry about the Denny’s trigger. I can’t eat there either but it’s mostly because they tried to serve me raw chicken fingers when I was pregnant with Averie. I wouldn’t have been able to get out of the car either if I was in your position. Hugs momma ❤❤


  2. The triggers are everywhere. Forever. Ugh. I love that necklace!!! Xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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